A Moxie Fashionista takes fashion by the balls and makes it her own.

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Fashion No-No's for MEN and WOMEN

Too much makeup. You look like a clown. A scary one.

I’m assuming these two conferred on their outfits, but perhaps it was just coincidence. Either way, Oscar rules apply: standing next to someone in the same dress/cap/beard/tattoo is just embarrassing. And creepy.

Women wear the wrong size bra all the time. It makes me kinda sad. Larger-breasted women tend to wear bras that are too small, and smaller-breasted women bras that are too large. Larger women are more likely to have an incorrect bra fit because most women's breasts are asymmetrical, especially when the breasts are large. I talked to my mom. And the ladies at Victoria's Secret, complete with their measurement tape.
Wearing the wrong bra size can lead to a number of problems, including back pain, restricted breathing, abrasions, breast pain and poor posture. And looking just plain ridiculous.
Middle school all over again...

The issue here is the case of VPL: visible panty lines. And bunching. Bunching makes your butt look like squished cakes. Gross. A way to combat this awful case are seamless boy shorts that are a safe alternative to stupid thongs.

The Mullet: We do NOT want to bring this back. I don’t care how much Hannah Montana’s/Miley Cyrus’s daddy Billy Ray sings about it. It never should have happened in the first place.

Too Skinny Jeans on MEN: So few men can pull off skinny jeans, literally, they need the jaws of life to assist them.
But I digress, it leaves nothing to the imagination, and if you’re wearing skinny jeans guys,chances are, that’s all you have filling them, imagination.

Showing of the Thong: Ladies, ladies, ladies.
What is the reason I hear constantly about why we wear thongs? “I don’t want to show my panty lines.” You don’t? So you want to wear low rise pants and show your ass, and the whole pair of panties? Oh that’s SO much classier. Chic, really. *Rolling my eyes* Pull your pants up, girl, we don’t need to see your business.

Extreme Tan lines: You know you’ve seen them. Girls wearing tube tops with THESE tan lines. WHY? Girl, please, either undo the strings when you’re sunbathing, lay in a tanning bed to avoid these lines, or hey, here’s an idea, stay out of the sun. The latter is better for your skin.

Ugly Prom or formal occasion Dress: Because when I’m told I need formal attire, the first thing that comes to mind is “I NEED to look like a highlighter marker.” Not. Do NOT buy this kind of dress. It’s ugly, gross.

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