Rob & Reese Attend the ACM Awards for God Knows Why

ROBERT PATTINSON: Hi, Reese.

REESE WITHERSPOON: Hi, Rob.

ROB: So we’re here to celebrate country music because we’re in Water for Elephants, which is… set in the country, I guess?

REESE: I don’t know. I’m just trying to put on a happy face because this is technically my honeymoon.

ROB: Oh, gee, that’s right, you got married recently.

REESE: Yep.

ROB: Sorry that I didn’t RSVP. I travel so much that I didn’t get the invitation.

REESE: …. Yes, that’s it.

ROB: I KNEW IT. You didn’t invite me.

REESE: Well, it’s just…

ROB: We’re about to go on a HUGE press tour together. Spending SO MANY MINUTES in each other’s presence. And we show this whole movie where I look beautiful, and not all psychotic and blood-hungry and emo-depressed or that I have spent a hundred celibate years learning how to play the violin or whatever, and still I get NOTHING?

REESE: It’s not personal, it’s just…

ROB: Awkward! Ha!

REESE: Ha ha. You got me.

ROB: Reese are you secretly pregnant because your nice Marchesa dress makes you look...stocky.

REESE: I'm not preggo thank you very much. And I'm not stocky!

ROB: Let’s go backstage and talk about this. Remember I am dating Kristen Stewart, so I have to diagnose and treat fashion madness all the time.

REESE: Bless you. I will totally invite you to the baby shower.

ROB: … Nah. Unless there’s an open bar.

REESE: It’s a deal.