You'd think a press conference for No Strings Attached, a movie Natalie Portman is probably kicking herself for starring in—nothing like following the critical tongue-kissing for Black Swan with a wet dog turd of a rom-com, Portman—would be as lame as the plot, which is described as "a date movie about twentysomething 'sex friends' who accidentally fall in love," but thanks to Ashton Kutcher, there's actually something to report on here.
While promoting No Strings Attached, Kutcher somehow managed to climb aboard a sex-related soapbox, declaring his beliefs that... well, I'm not entirely sure, to be honest.
Here, read for yourself:
"I think there’s so much that’s not said about sex in our country, even from an educational level. I do a lot of work on human trafficking, and I connect a lot with girls that end up in this trade, if you will. Partially because of a lack of education about sex in the country. Sometimes we get to make films that open things up that people can talk about, and one of the interesting things — I don’t want to veer off on a weird human trafficking thing, but — is that, especially for women in the sex education process in schools, the one thing they teach about is how to get pregnant or how to not get pregnant, but they don’t really talk about sex as a point of pleasure for women. The male orgasm is actually right there and readily available to learn about because it’s actually part of the reproductive cycle, but the female orgasm isn’t really talked about in the education system. Part of that creates a place where women aren’t empowered around their own sexuality and their own sexual selves, and from a purely entertainment point of view, to create a movie with a female lead that’s empowered with her own sexuality is a powerful thing. And if we can give teenage people something to think about from a sex perspective, I would say it would be to open a conversation where women are empowered with their own sexual experiences from an educational level as well as an entertainment level."
Uh huh. Okay, so let me see if I've got this straight: if women were empowered to get themselves off, they wouldn't end up as abducted sex slaves, and this crap-ass movie he's in is going to create a bunch of valuable sociological dialogue.
Well, in case this wasn't enough to make you raise an eyebrow, Kutcher also recently did an interview with Men's Fitness where he predicted that the "end of days" is on its way. He claims to be stocking up on guns, spending hours and hours running the canyons near his home, and learning Krav Maga, a deadly Israeli combat technique. A quote from the interview: "All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I care about."
So Ashton Kutcher's eternally terrible rom-com movies are for the betterment of womankind, and his chiseled bod is for apocalyptic purposes only. Man, I had him ALL wrong. I wonder what altruistic explanation he has for Punk'd and Dude, Where's My Car.